APAPS 2017 no.10: On The Horns Of A Dilemma

Not a comfortable place to be, a Dilemma, I can tell you. On the one hand, an official time-keeper told me that I would get a penalty for being late for breakfast; and, on the other, the police threatened to book me for speeding. How, you may well ask, had this come about?

Well, twelve of us had assembled at Café Elias  (no coffee) at half-past-seven, 30th August; Ingrid, Rose, Yves, Paul, Chris, Antje, Myriam, Janet, Terry, Jill, Hazel and JohnH, plus Java and Sascha. Rod was away practising his day job as tour guide in Seville, and Ros was off sick, having had a run-in with an aggressive wasps´ nest. The early morning sunlight made for some atmospheric snapshots as we set off along the canal, after having gone through the customary starter photo routine:

Paul´s conscience prohibited him from participating in the routine so he took the shot. It seems from the choreographer´s critique that some new instructions had been issued about arm movements; if so, four participants either hadn´t heard them or are resistant to change. Had we been told to do the Highland Fling?

“Merci de ces photos ; old Grumpachops could not resist the urge to sabotage  (degrade , at least,) the troupe’s efforts at new and intricate dance moves: he had to catch them during a practice… how perfidious! Be that at it may, there was indeed an attempt at integrating some upper body movements to the well-established routine (some call it progress). The results were very much a curate’s egg.

Them wot listened to guidelines succeeded beautifully: Myriam, Hazel, Ingrid and Rose; them wot only heard got it almost right: Terry, Antje and Janet…

We will allow an exception for Jill ‘cos she has lonely just joined the troupe. As for the WAGs escapees, the best that can be said is that they have reached the AIDS age: support aid, hearing aid (for instructions), nav-aids (just look at that belt!) but they made up for it with natural enthusiasm and smiles to melt damsels’ hearts…

Sasha wisely wanted no part of any of it…

Points will be awarded next week when the new routine is properly bedded in.

Le ‘Highland Fling’ ? Certainement pas ! Can you imagine the damage potentially caused by flying sporrans during our spirited rendition of ‘le Cancan’? Not to mention the possible scattering of loose change and the ensuing fights about property thereof? And the spillage of the water of life does not even bear thinking aboot!

A bientôt!

A.”

Well, we have only one week more to get it right.

Discipline was poor from the start. Shifting from Confushianism to Aristotelitis is clearly not so easy.Yves back-tracked almost from the off because he had to retrieve his image capturing device from his car.. Others seemed mesmerised by the figs along the path (haven´t they ever seen figs before?) and scrumped without scruple. Where were the Walkers Police when you needed them?

                                         Some of the guilty

At one stage the leader had to remind them that breakfast was at the END of the walk, NOT during the walk, but to little avail. One sympathises with Moses trying to lead the Children of Israel through the Sinai desert when they kept stopping for water, manna from heaven, barbecued bull in gold leaf, whatever., How he put up with it for 40 years, goodness alone knows, etc. 1 hour was nearly enough for me.

                          The Leader waits while they scrump

               The Leader gets their undivided attention………..temporarily

Eventually, however, we got to the end of the canal and those who were sufficiently interested gazed in awe as the canal emptied itself into the abyss, only to re emerge 100 metres away across the valley in Encherim and re-canal itself again. Yves ventured near the edge of the precipice but, not wishing to re-acquaint himself with the experts of the Bombeiros Rescue Unit this time, managed to restrain himself from diving in.

                                           No!  Don´t Jump !

We then turned inland. It was at this stage that the Leader was approached by one of those deadpan sort of individuals who, for example, flourish stop-watches at the golfers leading the Open and, on behalf of the R & A, tell them that they are guilty of slow play and will be penalised 5 shots if they persist, The Leader was told that he would forfeit breakfast if he didn´t raise his average kph to get there by 9.30 am.

Message taken to heart, we said adieu to Paul and Chris who took the opt-out back to Encherim and then we pressed onwards and upwards. The pace picked up. But then Janet took a tumble. Never mind, we have all been there; luckily no damage. The Leader then accelerated once more and took elevated short cuts, trying to make up for lost time.. Terry and Jill took the low road.

After a bit of this high velocity walking, however, the Leader was flagged down by a plain clothes police officer – not wearing the official Walkers Police shirt - but even so, one could tell, speaking with all the weighty authority of a fully fledged Trans-Algarve Way alumnus ( or should that be alumna?) and was told to slow down. (Our archivists  have  searched the AWW records for a picture of the Walkers Police shirt, only to discover that it has been suppressed, presumably for security reasons)

And that was my  dilemma. Was I to pay heed to the metronome with the stop-watch? Or was I to listen to the cop? Did I grasp the What´s It by the horns?

Reader, I listened to the cop. Breakfast could wait on us, not us on breakfast.

So at a more relaxed pace we topped the ridge, put a call through to Chris who was already at Pescadores to re-schedule the meal for 10 am, and then strolled as a group past some curious goats back down to Cafe Elias and then by car to Pescadores, on the dot of 10 am.

Here, Ingrid, Antje and Hazel fulfilled voluntary kitchen and serving duties. Thanks to them for that.

The eggs, bacon, tomatoes, toast, coffees, teas, and then even more tomatoes and toast, flowed, almost as fast as the water in the canal.

                                                        Janet prefers the healthy option

More tomatoes from Senhora Fernanda

Dona Maria grapes from Senhor Zé Bento

Terry was persuaded to try a first taste of Bela Luisa cha………………….

………………and survived the experience.

Myriam marshalled the troops for her customary elevated Group shot.

                        

The Track and Statistics

Total distance: 7.75 km only. Total Time: 2 hours 25 mins.

Moving Time: 1 hour 50 mins. Average Moving Speed: 4.2 kph

Total Ascent: 254 metres.

The Opt-Out Track

Something like this

and its stats:-

But, of course, the  true highlight of the meal was the celebration of Yves´victory in the Spot The Legs Competition.

                     The Winner and his Prize

All magnanimously joined in giving him hearty congratulations, among them being the sponsor and one of the sporting runners-up.

Here, on the left of the pic and to Yves´right is – JohnH. And on the right of the pic as you look at it but, from his point of view looking out from the pic, on the left, and gesticulating with his right arm which is to the left as you see it, and to Yves´left (are you all still with me?) is – Paul. And, in the centre, whichever way you care to look at it, thank goodness for that, is  –Yves.

                                                                                    Dilemma

And a closing quotation:-

Acknowledgements to Antje, Myriam, Paul and Yves for their photographs.