APAPS Interim: Motus and Elevated Thinking

That there is no need to have had a walk before putting out a blog was demonstrated last week when we were encouraged to check the weather forecast beforehand. No doubt you all have looked at it but, as a reminder, the app. can be found at:-http://hopejohnh.blogspot.pt/2016/08/wapaps-weather-app.html.
I have to admit that I was somewhat surprised, knowing how Paul delights in being provocative, that the young(ish) lady in the video which he introduced us to didn´t take all her clothes off  because of the heatwave, but let´s be thankful for small mercies. Anyway, the possibility of interim blogs having been established, here goes, because there are a couple of things to deal with and get out of the way now before we get seriously involved culturally in Silves (as Rod´s walk tomorrow promises we will) and we forget about them.
The first of these topics is the use of the word “Motus” in the heading of last week´s waffle-free edition. I had thought that either Ingrid or Yves might have commented on it, because it is a strange word – it doesn´t seem to be a normal part of speech and it appears (according to my urbane French dictionary) solely in the phrase “Motus et Bouche Cousue”, there and nowhere else.
So I was in the end forced to consult Aristotle who, in addition to being able to think on his feet as befits a peripatetic philosopher, is also a French scholar. And this is what I got as a result of my enquiry:-
“Bonsoir John,
“Allons-y : ça va être long et érudit mais libre à vous d’abandonner le navire en perdition quand vous le souhaitez…
“ ‘motus’ appeared at some point during the XVI C as a pun on ’mutus’ (mute) and some attribute this neologism to The Bard although no direct link can be established… It is a semi-clever play on words and a pretence at some Latin etymology. That said, or not, it soon became an admonition: ‘Motus!’, i.e. not a word! With the passage of time the ‘M’ became the an accepted form of demanding silence, particularly when expressed while holding up an index. From there, it evolved into ‘Mmmm’ indicating a need for silence while someone thinks, or while giving someone else the opportunity to think, or meditate. Eventually, it developed into the well-known phrase “Mum’s the word” that has sod-all to do with maternal instincts but a lot  with the aforementioned raised digit… The phrase ‘motus et bouche cousue’ is a combination of that etymology and the practice of sewing traitors’ mouths before doing away with them (quite recently, you may have seen in the popular press and on that new-fangled Interwebs device lifelike pictures of soi-disant refugees in Northern France, somewhere near Calais, of men with stitches holding their lips firmly joined. Old habits die hard… “
He had also promised to provide me with an authentic French word for waffler and this is what came out –I don´t quite get why the French and the Belgians always  seem to have to have a go at each other, but laissez ça passer:-
“Now, on the subject of ‘gaufres’ and waffle: gaufres originated as the by-product of overcooked batter from pancakes and such delicacies. These burnt offerings were given to scullery children and servants who soon made them more palatable by dipping them into wild honey; so far, so good, Mmmm! As the practice gained popularity and gaufres became a festive fayre for poor people during celebrations well before Bastille Day, our Belgian cousins latched onto a good idea as they saw one (they are a tad too slow to have their own good ideas…) but the hard fricative ‘g’ became a soft labial ‘w’ under the influence of strong dark beer: natural erosion completed the transformation into ‘waffle’. At this juncture, another old French word came into play: ‘gouailleur’ as in someone who possesses a lot of ‘gouaille’, namely a ‘big gob’ in another dialect…gouaille is directly derived from ‘gueule’ designating an animal’s mouth and some argue that the sounds emitted by a drunken Belgian are similar to the eructations of a poorly beast; with me so far? The sad concoction of mixed etymologies and corrupted pronunciations led to the creation of yet another word: bagouilleur (as in someone who possesses ‘bagoût’ or the art of boggling (le bagouillage) an idiot’s mind with useless (and untrue) verbiage. Put all these ingredients together and you have ‘waffler’: absolutely nothing to do with the original waffle or gaufre but still in use in remote areas where modern idioms such as ‘bullsh*tter’ have not reached yet…
“Here endeth the lesson!
A.”
Thanks for that and now moving swiftly on the the second topic, that of climb statistics, you will appreciate of course that these are only put in for the few readers who are actually interested in them and that that “few” seems to be Paul and no one else. So when I had put in that we had climbed 400 odd metres, Paul couldn´t resist taking the bait. He commented:-

“Lies, damn lies etc. I would have been proud to achieve the climb claimed in the CB's Stats section, but alas my highly accurate komoot.de elevation profile only showed 200 m of climb and this was backed up by my extremely accurate Garmin Oregon. Distances and speeds were more similar. Perhaps The CB has managed to record an accumulated climb total whereas mine are simple calculations. But I doubt it!”
Well, he was correct; my “managed” figures were those for an accumulated climb total. The principle is quite simple. If one is to climb from sea-level to the top of a 300 metre hill by means of one straight-up ladder, the climb total would indeed be 300 metres. But if one were to walk towards the 300 metre summit and were to have to drop back down 50 metres after having made each  straight-up ascent of 100 metres, that lost 50 metres would of course have to be ascended again. And so on. By the time one does reach the 300 metre summit, one´s accumulated climb is 550 metres. And on the way down, there are of course interruptions to the downward slope – let us say in this simple case that there are now 5 little upward slopes of 50 metres. That´s another 250 metres of interuption. By the time one gets back to base having reached the 300 metre summit, one´s total climb for the day has come to 800 metres.
Last Wednesday we walked from Retiro dos Pescadores along a bit of tarmac and then gently along a valley path before we had to tackle the first real slope. According to Google Earth, at that stage we had walked 2.56 kms, had started at 36 metres above sea level and had reached 80 metres above sea level, all without breaking a sweat. But the elevation gain – the total climb so far – had already come to 163 metres, twice the altitude we had reached.All this before the first hill.
There is tons of stuff on the web about how GPS devices measure altitude and calculate climbs. A lot of that stuff is far too complicated for me to understand, although I´m sure some of you can, but the general message seems to be that they cannot be totally relied on. One page said that it´s not uncommon for your device to tell you, when you are walking along a beach, that your altitude is minus 40. Don´t worry, you are advised, you´re between satellites. Another page says that, if you´re trying to land your light plane relying on your GPS altitude dial, the best thing to do is make sure that your insurances are fully paid-up.
The conclusion of all this? Paul is much fitter than he thinks he is.

ADDENDUM. Unretouched stats from Garmin and komoot.de. A rather impressive 9.58 km but only 200m of climb. Of course if you add the descent you get something more impressive!