Saturday, 19 September 2020

APAPS 20.8: Separate Tables or Not?

 


The APAPS 20.8 outing was advertised somewhat misleadingly as follows:-

“The walk will start at 7.30 am and will be about 6.5 kms, a little bit more climbing than last week but not too much.

“Silves Parque Merendas is half a kilometre from Continent Modelo on the left  going east; it is the small group of picnic tables under the trees at the junction leading to the prison.

 Please do let me know if you are walking and breakfasting, or breakfasting only. If we are more than 10 f or breakfast we will probably have to take separate tables (maybe indoors) because of the State of Contingency.”

The sound of heavy breathing as we laboured up the final of the day´s three hills gave the lie to the forecast of there being not too much climbing involved, and the “left going east” direction must have been written when the author was standing on his head doing his early morning PE. The false direction may also have been designed to confuse Myriam and Yves in revenge for their showing little sympathy for the Leader the previous week when he had resolutely insisted on leading the walk despite having a sorely wounded left hand, the result of an altercation with a Heinz Baked Beans can which made it tricky for him to grasp his walking pole. Incidentally, that the opening of cans is a risky business was confirmed by recent correspondence in The Daily Telegraph in which a surgeon´s assistant confirmed that their surgery had had numerous patients with injuries from ring-pull cans. Another correspondent claimed that all ring-pull cans are now “guard-beaded”, meaning that when you open one, a layer of strong plastic folds over the sharp edge left inside. Modern technology to guard against cuts from the open can, he said. Huh! Not on mine, it didn´t !

And in the end, separate tables were not needed at Mira Rio because Antje, Chris and Rod had all made their excuses. As it was, 6 of the usual suspects successfully found their way to the Parque Merendas



where the early morning mists were still draped over the meadows. After a short drive into the Bom Homem Herdade, we were to take the Starter photo



and get the walk under way 5 minutes before official starting time.



The initial route was up a modest hill, and we then swung left, no I mean right, onto a side track which went uphill before stretching out up another longer hill. The fact that it was a real hill didn´t seem to bother Maria a bit, who positively raced ahead of the rest of us..



There, in the light of the rising sun, right in front of us was a trig point. But we decided not to tackle it, trig points not being an APAPS tradition as Terry pointed out. Becky was greatly relieved.



Besides, we would need all our energies for later on, as we shall see.



We made our way down onto flatter ground, where one observant walker remarked that the last time we had been here, we had been caught in a downpour. Yes indeed, and Yves had at the time captured the oncoming rain cloud on film.



But no rain this time, maybe later in the week with luck. A bit further on, we came to a ruin which is usually concealed by heavy undergrowth, but that had now all been cleared, exposing a pile of green bottles, at least ten of them.

 Yves remarked on their apparent antiquity and seized the opportunity to take one of his artistic photos.


The pace then picked up and we put in some serious walking

until we arrived at the foot of the next hill. We had been down it in the past, but never up. It did look steep. The Leader pressed on regardless; after a few minutes he heard a shout and looked down, Some people were still down on the flat. Was this a mutiny? No, it was our professional photographer, stung by the previous week´s criticism, determined to capture the action.




This shot shows him far down below on the right of the picture


where he took this one showing Terry and JohnH high up on the skyline.

But at that stage they were only one-third of the way up. Lots more climbing ahead of them. Google Earth shows the hill to be 51 metres, over less than 1/3 of a km, with much of it being a 37% slope. No wonder there was heavy breathing. Not sure if we will tackle that one again. All downhill from now on said the Leader and, for once, he was right. While we all paused to catch our breath, for some reason the subject of frogs legs came up. Yves (and I´m not implying any cannibalistic tendencies here) said how much he enjoyed them.

And so downhill back to the rest of the cars and then on to Mira Rio for the breakfast.


Here we were joined by Paul – (I will not bore Ingrid and Janet with details of his crisply tailed black gilet and of the technical specifications oft his man bag, nor dwell on this week´s headgear) – and by Hazel in a most colourful outfit.



At the breakfast table, conversation was wide-ranging. At one end of the table, they discussed how and why Cantonese matriarchs have the reputation of being 老虎乸 ( Lao Hu Na, or tigresses) while, at the other, we learnt that, when it comes to darning socks, the British use mushrooms and the Portuguese use eggs. (Apparently, there are still some people who do darn socks. Hats off to them for keeping the old traditions alive.)


The conversation about 老虎乸 reminded Myriam of a little story which can now be related in her very own words:- 

“In 2011, we had another family reunion. Instead of cruising, we chose to join a coach tour from Vancouver to Yellow Stone Park, organised by a Chinese tour company. There were about 35 passengers (mainly Cantonese speakers), 15 of whom were from the Lo Clan, and only one Caucasian!! Obviously they were curious about us. Paul was asked, in English, how he was related to the family. He pointed at me and answered in perfect Cantonese, "She is my 老虎乸."  There was an uproar of laughter and he immediately became the whole group's bet! 

That was his most famous moment!!”



Our meal was its usual excellent standard. Pity Paul forgot to bring his special sauces. Although some thought that the toast was cut too thick, others were to be seen really enjoying it, thick cut notwithstanding.



And of course we all talked about Gordon Ramsay´s rip-off “Full English Breakfast”


                                                                         The Gordon Ramsay

Nice eggs, but.....One mushroom ! One sausage ! Baked beans in a poncey side dish ! No toast !And what´s that wilted bit of greenery doing in the middle of it all? And this at a cost of £19 19 !!! Mira Rio, although it does not claim to be the FULL English, is a real bargain at €4. Mind you, if you were to go to The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh for their Full Scottish, that would set you back £25. I don´t have picture of that one but here is the ultimate fry-up courtesy of The Fry-Up Police.


Notice that they keep the eggs well separate from the baked beans

The Track and The Statistics


                                        This is a reconstruction - not the real thing.

We don´t have a genuine track this week because my ViewRanger gave up the ghost after only 247 metres, but Terry measured it at about 6.8 kms, as did my Health App which also told me that I had taken10,960 steps and climbed the equivalent of 32 flights of stairs.



On the other hand, Myriam´s Whitings watch (screen grab above) recorded the distance as being 8.6 kms. Why the difference? Well, one possibility is that the watch is Chinese and reads its figures right to left, not left to right. Another is that she lives in a different dimension from the rest of us mere mortals. Or maybe Paul should just get her a new watch.

To close, first a fry-up video (Careful! Look out for that baked bean can!)



and then some slushy music from the film Separate Tables, a slushy Hollywood adaptation of two one act plays by the English playwright Terence Rattigan which are definitely not slushy.






Friday, 11 September 2020

APAPS 20.7: Reflections




 A reasonable quorum of seven gathered at Mira Rio for a 7.30 am start where we welcomed Rod´s return to the walking side of things.


                                                            Terry, Jill, Becky, JohnH, Maria, Yves, Myriam, Rod.

 It was a peaceful morning with the river full from the high tide. A moment of panic shortly after the start when our professional photographer let slip that he had left his equipment back in his car. Terry and the Leader looked at each other and simultaneously said

“You can´t get the staff these days!”

plus other rather less complimentary remarks. After all, what´s the point of engaging a photographer who doesn´t bring his camera? Well, he was politely asked to nip back to the car and fetch his gear, which he did at some speed. And just as well he did so, because he was then able to take this atmospheric early morning shot.




Regular readers of this page may remember that recently we challenged Yves to contribute to the blog, and this week he did so, describing what happened next. (Those of a sensitive disposition may wish to look the other way for the next paragraph.)

So over to Yves:-

Quote

"Yves, balls in the water, over there!"

Now, when that cry went out I was naturally taken aback a wee bit: it sounded like like an instruction, an order almost from our own 'Petit Caporal': 

I tried to object that access to the water was difficult and the water might be cold but my protestations fell on deaf ears: 

"Come on, you can take a good picture of balls dangling in the water!"

When it comes to tricky or sometimes mildly perilous tasks, I am no shrinking violet, most of the time, but my mouth went a bit dry then: the walks and the blog are for consenting adults but there are limits!

Only when I came past a large bush that was blocking the view of river did everything become clear, to my and most other people's relief or disappointment...

A bullet had been dodged, phew!


                                                                          The Petit Caporal

Unquote

And this - thanks to Terry for the photo - was what it was that had now become clear to Yves.

                           Ah, it´s the little things that make us walkers happy.

A bit later, we turned away from the canal and then moved uphill, where we found signs of recent bulldozer activity: some new tracks through the bush plus a huge boulder placed in the middle of an existing road - quite why, no one knows. It was too much even for Terry to shift.

After that effort, the rest of the walk was taken at a fairly relaxed pace.



The pace was so relaxed in fact that when we came to the Vale da Lama village we stopped for a leisurely chat with a friend of Maria´s who presented her with some flowers


and who also educated the rest of us on the use of plastic water bottles to stop dogs from messing in your garden.

The Track and the Statistics




The Breakfast

Back at Mira Rio, we were joined by two very tanned Whittles, returned from their trip to the Azores in time for the Event of the Week and we were very excited to meet up with Paul resplendent in his latest Tilley, a Fedora so we are led to believe. 

As I am sure Ingrid and Janet will confirm, it was worth waiting for the unveiling of this new classic.



The extra black material is to protect his ears from the airstream when he is driving his open top jeep-type vehicle.

Hazel provided green vegetables from her ever-productive horta.


The meal was of the Restaurante´s usual excellent quality and great value, with melons provided on the house.






Sometimes we like to conclude the blog with something entirely unconnected with either walking or breakfasting, so here is a brief anecdote from France.

The price of gas in France

After careful planning, the thief got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van with the loot. However, he was captured only two blocks away when the van ran out of gas. When questioned how he could mastermind such a daring crime and then make such an elementary error, he replied

“Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings-

                    I had no Monet

                       to buy Degas

                          to make the Van Gogh

                              Je Magritte rien.

        I am telling you this tale because I figured I had nothing Toulouse:”



                        See if you have De Gaulle to tell this to someone else."


And, for our finale, Edith Piaf rolls her Rs to perfection.